after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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