You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize