its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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