I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
