Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
