so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
