...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize