she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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