She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
