I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
