New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
