you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
