summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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