I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
