If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
