Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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