Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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