Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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