If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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