so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
