Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Soap is not a condiment
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
