It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
