We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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