The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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