I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
