don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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