I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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