sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
do herpes really smell.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
