your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
