Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
bring money and cleavage
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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