I should be sponsored by Trojan
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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