toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
