he thought i was a dude.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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