two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
