how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
