Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
