i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
