How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
my liver is dry heaving
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
