Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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