im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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