You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
