last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
