I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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