Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
