did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
