Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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