I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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