i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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