dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
