We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
