And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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