Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
