Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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