So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
