I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
