We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
