So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
