if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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