I love black thongs
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
