Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
