She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
