"it" just moved
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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