No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
