This dress was meant to end up on your floor
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
