I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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