it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My bed smells like the plague
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
