You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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