If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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