that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
