i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
