Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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