She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
