He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
