I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
