we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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