i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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