Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
