when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
