i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
